Recall : Preface

 I’m ready to speak my mind again.

I can’t sleep. As usual, a lot things are running simultaneously in my mind. When was the last time I unloaded my thoughts? When was the last time I talked to Him? When was the last time I took my problems seriously and device ways to resolve it? And when was the last time I talked to you - ayef. Yeah, ayef, my well trusted imaginary friend, hence ayef (letter “i” & “f”).

The answer to all these questions? I can’t recall those times anymore.

It would be nice to unload each concern by going back to those moments. 

my sacrifice

it’s not easy to be me…

First week of February when my mom was first confined at Korea-Philippines Friendship Hospital in Trece Martirez City.For the whole week, I would go there after office, stay up all night to watch over my mom, wearing the same clothes i wore in ofc, i would go back to Manila around 3AM, sleep in bus while travelling, arrive in my pad at around 6AM, do my morning routine - coffee & smoke to wake me up, bathe, change clothes, then off to ofc again and teach whole day. After office, I’ll travel again to Cavite. Staying up late is not difficult, sleep while travelling aint difficult either, the only sleep im getting is when I’m travelling but it’s not difficult as well… you know what’s difficult? It’s: to teach and smile whole day pretending that everything is ok even if I’m dying inside.There was even a time when I arrived in Manila past 5AM, my place is on fire! I was so numb. Insanity embraced me so tight.

After a week, she was discharged from hospital, but everything is hell. She can barely talk. She cant stand anymore. She’s not normal. She was advised to see a neuro specialist. So it wasnt alzheimers… it’s brain tumor.

She’s like a child now. Helplessly lying on bed, can’t even say how she feels and what she wants. It’s killing me.

I guess, now  I should be thankful ‘coz her place is nearby my office. She’s now confined here in Manila, a few minutes away from my workplace.

Ain’t funny

‘Twas my lola’s interment yesterday… I was with my cousin, on our way to manila after lola was laid to her rest, when I got a call from my sister. They decided to bring my mom to hospital and have her checked by a neuro specialist. Fine, i went there straight.

Nanay is confined in PGH. I managed to get an executive room - thanks to my Tito Boyet for the assistance, otherwise, we will be like those patients begging to have a room.

Mukang ofc-hospital na naman ata ako nito.

Paalam po Lola…

Heaven sent Angels down and gave Grandma her wings…

She didn’t die, instead, she started an eternal life somewhere far from pain, problems, and negativity. May you rest in peace lola. You’ll always be remembered.

sweet sweetie

 The love i got from my siamese is the best i’ve ever had 

                                                   -                          someone

That quote i’ve read from the net is indeed true. Sweetie is really sweet. Though we’re not yet that close coz she’s been with me for a few days only but I can tell that cats are sweeter than dogs. Siamese cat is really smart. Im not regretting my decision to get a siamese.