another 20 million story…

i just finished my class, each of my student greeted me with "happy weekend, have a great chusok" and i just smiled back in return.. why? well, my class is their last subject for today and i can see in their faces that they are so excited to go home to prepare for chusok. It’s a 3-day national holiday here "thanks giving" chuva nila, everyone seems to be excited kasi the celebration is like a family reunion.. imagine, the whole nation is celebrating with their families and im left alone.. my korean friends are with their family.. waaaaa.. then one of my closest student said, "you look lonely, don’t cry, i will call you.." i feel like crying after hearing what he said..

ay naku boss weng i know kaw lang makaka-relate sa 20 million song.. and my situation now is exactly the same with the story of that song.. while everyone is celebrating, waiting for that precious event, im waiting for none.. what makes them happy kills me..

mixed emotions

ewan ko ba, siguro homesick lang ako kaya i feel down, really down today… i feel exhausted from work, fed-up, i still feel something is lacking although i already have the job na pinapangarap ng iba… well paid but it’s really frustrating… the management is good though… i just feel unsatisfied and disappointed with the output of my work… kaw kaya magturo sa mga taong di marunong mag-ingles ay naku cute-ang-ina nakaka praning! parang hangin ang kausap ko pero di mo naman makuhang magalit kasi mababait & magalang sa’yo yung mga students… i have supportive officemates who keeps on telling me that the problem is at the end of the students and they are expecting that even before i got here (eh yun naman pala, they just really want to make my life misserable — kesa nga naman sa dati kong job na miserable yet underpaid coupled with a lot of ka-lechehan). I should be happy ‘coz my neighbor & few of his cutie friends were assigned in my department so they will spend most of their time in our building… syempre, offer ko naman yung office ko. I told them to feel free to drop by my office during their free time which is literally 30 steps away from their classroom, enjoy coffee, PC, & mag-sunog-baga sa loob… tuwa naman sila kesa magmukang squatter sa hallway kasi nasa kabilang building ang office nila. Some of them told me that you’ll really loose your morale here and it’s an accepted fact that for foreigners, teaching in korea is more of a gold mine than a noble profession.

Siguro kulang din sa tulog kya mejo down ang emotions… Prof. Kim kasi… he visited me in my pad last night… he arrived around 10pm & left around 2am already!!! Ngeks eh may pasok kaya kami early morning kaya bangenge ako. Anyway, may dala naman syang big bowl of Kamjatang (one of my favorites here). It’s like super spicy bulalo but they use back ribs of pork instead of beef, so ayun, naka tambak sa ref yung natira w/c is morethan half of what he brought.

I wanna go home. Gusto ko na makasama partner ko. Miss na miss ko na sya sobra. Ang hirap pala ng long distance relationship, buti na lang nag-eexert sya ng effort to make our relationship work. Im thankful for the blessings but my happiness is more important & priceless… damn, i really wanna go home.

There are lots of things to be happy so i think i should not dwell much on my negative feelings.