my sacrifice

it’s not easy to be me…

First week of February when my mom was first confined at Korea-Philippines Friendship Hospital in Trece Martirez City.For the whole week, I would go there after office, stay up all night to watch over my mom, wearing the same clothes i wore in ofc, i would go back to Manila around 3AM, sleep in bus while travelling, arrive in my pad at around 6AM, do my morning routine - coffee & smoke to wake me up, bathe, change clothes, then off to ofc again and teach whole day. After office, I’ll travel again to Cavite. Staying up late is not difficult, sleep while travelling aint difficult either, the only sleep im getting is when I’m travelling but it’s not difficult as well… you know what’s difficult? It’s: to teach and smile whole day pretending that everything is ok even if I’m dying inside.There was even a time when I arrived in Manila past 5AM, my place is on fire! I was so numb. Insanity embraced me so tight.

After a week, she was discharged from hospital, but everything is hell. She can barely talk. She cant stand anymore. She’s not normal. She was advised to see a neuro specialist. So it wasnt alzheimers… it’s brain tumor.

She’s like a child now. Helplessly lying on bed, can’t even say how she feels and what she wants. It’s killing me.

I guess, now  I should be thankful ‘coz her place is nearby my office. She’s now confined here in Manila, a few minutes away from my workplace.